I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
