K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
