Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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