awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
