I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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