So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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