Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
