I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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