Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
