I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
