i jhust puked up my retainher.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
