she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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