Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
