A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
