Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
