yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
