Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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