I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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