apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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