He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
