Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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