i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
