Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
