She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
