dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
