i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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