If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
