I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
