He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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