Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
