Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
