he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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