hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
