Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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