I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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