In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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