508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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