just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
