Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
