Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
