I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
