I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
