Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
