we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
