Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
