I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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