How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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