i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
