I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
