the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
