Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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