I love black thongs
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
