do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
