Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
